Break ups are not easy. It can be devastating to end a relationship, but it is also a new beginning. This is your time to not only discover more about yourself but also learn about what you really want in your next relationship.
“Let me start by saying that no matter how badly it hurts right now, no matter how upset or angry or lonely you feel, this pain will end. There is a light at the end of every tunnel (even if the tunnel itself might seem unbearably long) and the even better news is: you have the power and the strength within you to overcome this,” said Katharina A. Macher in Getting Over a Breakup–Now! 11 Steps for Turning Your Worst Breakup into Your Greatest Opportunity.
Here are four ways to heal your hurting heart and get back in the game.
1. Stay busy
The worst thing you can do is sit home and continue to mourn the loss of your ex for days on end. It’s time to lick your wounds and get active. Thinking about what happened and feeling sorry for yourself will only delay your ability to move on. Try a new hobby or go to a museum exhibit you’ve always been wanting to check out. You just might meet someone special while you’re having fun and enjoying your life.
2. Keep a journal
Write about your heartache. There is almost nothing as healing as getting your feelings down on paper (or on the computer screen). Writing daily is also good for your body. Psychologist James Pennebaker asserts that journaling makes immune cells stronger and can even help patients fight off life-threatening illnesses.
“When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health. They go to the doctor less. They have changes in immune function. If they are first-year college students, their grades tend to go up. People will tell us months afterward that it’s been a very beneficial experience for them,” Pennebaker told the University of Texas at Austin.
3. Learn from the past
Take a moment to see if there are any areas that you need to improve on before you think about entering another relationship. If there are some things you need to fix that go unaddressed, you’ll just end up repeating the same bad habits with the next person. Only you can fix yourself. Don’t expect the next person to do this for you.
“If your ex was the one to initiate the breakup, what was the reason given to you by him or her? What does your gut say? Do you believe your ex was being honest with the reason or is there something he or she failed mention?” said author Sarah Reynolds in How to Get Over a Breakup.
Once you discover the reason for the breakup, try to see if there was any truth to this. If there was, and you can identify areas where you need to improve, make an effort to work on yourself.
4. Meet other people
When you are ready, go out and start to meet others. However, be careful about entering a rebound relationship. These almost never end well. Do some soul searching and make sure you are with this new person for the right reasons. But most of all, have fun and continue to learn about yourself and others. And remember, sometimes your heartbreak can be a good thing. You may come across the very person you’ve been waiting for.